I Like My Man Tall Dark and Handsome, and My Jewlery Classic

This post started out as one of my numerous sidenotes, but after awhile, I realized it deserved a post all its own.

Prior to starting the ring shopping experience with the FI (a.k.a. Jase..thats how the wedding blogs that I now read all the time like weddingbee.com refer to the fiances), I never really considered myself to be a "classic girl." Yes, I like to think that I purchase some things that are frivolous and trendy, but generally purchase things/shoes that I can continue to wear for years to come. Not classic per se, practical, stylish, timeless...etc. However, when I stepped into the jewelry store and fell in love with arguably the most classic engagement ring like ever, I was just shocked.

Here's a pic of a similar one just like it (believe it or not, I dont have any great pics of my ring):

(Image courtesy Kay Jewlers)

Yes, mine is a Leo Diamond, but still....its a round solitaire! A round solitaire?!? Was I serious? Was I really going to parade around town in the purported most popular engagement ring style?

....it was a hard pill to swallow. Really hard. Somewhere down the line, I had turned into this classic girl. Infact, when I was discussing the ring selection with MJ and Dani, neither of them were shocked. It seemed to be perfectly acceptable and within the realm of what they could see me liking that I would select such a classic and sparkly ring. Secretly, I think its the sparkles that drew me in. Well, that and its gorgeous. I seem to have re-integrated that word into my vernacular, but sometimes things (including a suspiciously large number of wedding-related things) are best described as gorgeous. No other words.

So, I know you are wondering what Classic-Girl went and did when it was time to pick out a wedding band. Yes, Jase and I are all over the jewelry purchases. He loves his ring and can be spotted around town wearing it...I know, I know - we arent getting married until next October. But he loves that thing, and hell, I'm not going to argue with a man who loves his wedding-band. I've read horror stories about brides to be having the opposite problem..their man is allergic to wearing a ring. Now, I dont judge, but its suspicious. Throw convention out the door all you want, but I'mma need people to know you are married. Now, if you dont want to wear a ring, there are many other options available. How 'bout a T-shirt in the wedding colors? A hat? Your wife's pic permenantly attached to the husband's forehead?

I could go on and on, but without further ado, I pick this out:

(Every Kiss Begins with Kay)

And again, couldnt be more in love with it. Now, this is a departure from my diatribe on my not so newly-found classic-ness, since the most classic band is probably yellow gold and plain (ech), but its definitely not modern. I like to describe it as dainty (not classic), and when the two are together they are [say it with me] gorgeous! Like I have no problem with the idea of sporting a sparkly left ring finger from here to eternity. And (probably because my rings are so gorgeous - lol), I am okay with them being classic. I like to think of them as something that will always be in style, eligible to be passed on, and loved by me for many many many years to come. Okay, truth be told, I'm not exactly okay with the classic designation...but I know it was a compliment. I'm the friend with the good taste, which extends to my selection of jewelry. Considering were talking thousands of dollars worth of diamonds, I'll take classic/dainty/gorgeous any day.

No wedding ring story is complete without mention of the FI's ring. So, for your enjoyment, here's FIs ring:

(Again, image courtesy Kay Jewelers...like seriously, I should get FI some stock)

Whereas my rings are both white gold (and blinged out as I like to refer to them), FIs ring is Tungsten. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, you can find more info about it here. As you can see, it looks like stainless steel, but its kinda indestructable. Of course I dont mean that literally...its not like he's walking around with Superman on his ring finger (lol), but its a very durable metal (think: resistent to scratches, dents, and normal man-ish wear and tear), and they can do something to the inside that makes it very smooth on the inside and very comfy to wear. And I can vouch for the smoothness - it feels good...on my thumb. FI can vouch for its comfort too since like I've already mentioned, he loves that thing and has been wearing it to work and around town. All I know is it better be there in October 2009, because I AM NOT buying another one. Technically, I didnt buy this one either, but still...

Because its so durable, its hard if not nearly impossible to engrave it. And my engagement ring and bands are esentially too narrow to be engraved. So we'll both be walking around town with un-engraved rings. Not really phazed about that. One less detail to figure out.

Can you just imagine how I'd go on and on between now and September 2009 about ring engraving?!?

You're very welcome.
xoxox

Not Yo Mama's Wedding Organizer

Reason #2 why I couldnt write for a living: I have to wait for inspiration to hit me, and I can never predict when and where it will happen.

Whats reason #1 you ask? My degrees are in psychology...not writing. And anyone who has read psychological writing (particularly journal articles) will know exactly what I'm talking about. Yes, were encouraged to write clearly, but its usually written using terminology that only other psychologists will ever possibly understand, and at this unbelieveable level of minutiae (sp?) so that (us regular folk) would never care that much. Yes, us regular folk. See, I can turn my psycho-babble on and off when I need to - lol.

But anyway, inspiration hit...kinda. I was talking to Ms. Secka tonight about her day which was unbelievably long and a little dramatic, when I introduced her to my wedding organizer. I keep wanting to call it my wedding planner, but when I tell people about it, they believe i'm talking about my version of JLo, not the lovely lime colored binder that is probably the newest member of my inner circle (haha). She was telling me how she is going to be doing some wedding planning of her own for her daughter and how she would need to get something to keep herself organized - but not on the level of my "control book." I hadnt thought of it as a control book - its just a well organized binder with an empty pencil case for swatches, cardstock, writing utensils, etc.

I had never called it a control book. But on many levels it is. Literally, its where all the details of Jase and I's wedding will exist in the physical form - yes, there are tons of things swirling around in my head, and even more still in various forms of development that live on my jumpdrive waiting to be introduced to the "control book" and to my wedding crew. Figuratively, because it is the keeper of the wedding details, it you posess it, you are essentially in a position of control - if for no other reason because "you got the power! (in my best high pitched singing voice).

The last level is a bit more existential. Wait, I'm not sure thats the word I wanna use, but we'll roll with it for now. However, I think referring to what is essentially a binder - albeit one filled with sheet protectors, whole punched pieces of notebook and printer paper, and labled dividers - used for wedding things as a control book reflects society's greater tendency to perpetuate the ideal that what the bride wants, the bride gets. The bride is in control of the wedding day. Almost to the point where the groom (who historically is N.I.D. - not into details - including my own) just expects to be not included because in his mind thats what grooms do. They propose, buy the ring, show up in the appropriate outfit hopefully not too hung over and ready to pose and be all about the bride. See? The bride is in control, from what she wears, to what her girls and their escorts wear, to the colors and the flowers, and the food and the cake, and the location and the favors, and the on and on and on and on.

If I allow myself to get all caught up (a la the bridezilla persuasion), I could really go on this massive power trip as the "Keeper of the Binder."

I'm telling ya, these days an organizer is not just an organizer. Its 1) entitlement, 2) wrapped up with some of that fairy dust that dreams are made out of that the tooth fairy uses to power her segueway (yes, in my world the toothfairy carpools wtih the easter bunny and when theyre not together, she rides a segueway) plus 3) a lifetime of little girl dreams and wishes about being a princess and having the wedding of her dreams. I wasnt that girl. Believe it or not I did not dream about my dream wedding. But I was the girl who kept impeccably organized binders. And thanks to Alethia Mae Ransom, I always had the most up to date school supplies to statisfy my organizational cravings.

Long story short: this is not yo mama's wedding organizer. And whether you buy an organizer, or make your own, for any organized bride, its the heart and soul of the wedding planning. At some point, it will be virtually irreplaceable, and the source of answers and information for all involved. Its going to control the wedding! And considering it screams me (in an obnoxious tone), its so my book. It is my "Wedding Control Book." And what level am I running with? Lets roll with them all. Face it, whether you like it or not, the wedding buck starts AND stops with me :)

Night!

Just Call Me the Wedding Planning Diva!

Hola!

I know its been a minute, but for the past couple of nights, I've been dedicating myself to wedding planning. Not necessarily on purpose...sometimes it beez that wayz (lol).

Idunno if you knew, but I had been having quite a time deciding on a wedding organizer. Talk about cheezy. Most of them are ugly - with lots of sample pictures and people, and wording, and "ideas." Which is interesting considering most books tell you to almost immediately start looking for your own sources of inspiration. And for me, most of the images in those wedding planners at barnes and noble were far from inspiring. Infact, I had started brainstorming ways to cover that ish up. So while in Target on Sunday, I ran across a binder from their eco friendly line that is a delicious shade of lime green. No, most planners are not lime green. But MJ suggested I make my own and thats precisely what I did. PLUS its another opportunity to save a bit of cash. My binder cost me $10 or so, but I smile lovingly every time I lay my eyes on it...which kinda makes it far more valuable than $10, right?

So wedding organizer? Check.

Last night I was hanging out on Y!A (yes, I hang out there...those are kinda my people. Kinda.) And a girl asked a question about programs-whether people had planned to make their own or purchase them. Every piece of literature I have read about saving money for your wedding suggests making your own. But I'm having the invites professionally printed. I definitely dont want the programs to look low budget. So clicked thru some of the links that other members posted, and found a link to this one (see pic).

I'm thrilled with it. PLUS, I felt like it was simple enough for me to make, yet sophisticated enough to not look cheap and thrown together. Since I feel like my wedding is going to be pretty, but not overdone, these fit in. As you can see, they arent very big. But only a few people read the program, especially after the ceremony is over. Namely people like me who go back to enjoy its more aesthetic qualities :)

And talk about simple: its really one piece of cardstock (doubple sided and folded down the middle), and a piece of vellum to make an overlay - well, at least thats how I'm going to assemble it, and then a ribbon tied on to keep the "booklet together." And I'm going to to take the files to Kinkos to have them printed and cut. Now, all I have to do is fill in the ceremony details, finalize the wording, and find appropriate colored ribbon. I'm thinking the ampersand can be either gray like in the sample, or purple, or green. And if its purple or green, I can do the opposite colored ribbon (green or purple, respectively). Or another alternative is to just do the ampersand gray, and use green and purple ribbon, alternating. Either way, its a good project to do with the girls (or a girl), and if I have to do them with Jase, I dont think he can really mess them up - LOL. A little sophisticated simplicity. Hmm, sophisticated simplicity...do I hear wedding theme bells? I think I just may. Although my theme bells definitely dance to the tune of "Bae Bae Buh-Bae BabolaBoski!"

Sorry, a little P-J humor. I'll have to sing the song and do the dance for ya'll one day. I love him :)

Okay, so I'm running off now. Hells Kitchen comes on at 9, and until then, well..Idunno what I'm going to do, but I know it probably wont be blogging.

Night!

Wedding Issue of the Day

How do you ask someone to not be in your wedding?

Thats something I've been struggling with (and subsequently avoiding). Long story short, I got caught up in "I cant wait to be in the wedding (pause) I am in the wedding, right?." Now, random wedding guests I can manage. People trying to tell me what I should do for my wedding: I can manage. But I was caught totally off guard with that one. And what did I say? Like a softy? Yes. I told her yes ya'll!

But I didnt mean yes. Not really. I didnt want to hurt her feelings, but I've known with a fair degree of certainty for some time now who was on the bridesmaid list, who were the possibles, and who didnt make the cut. She hadnt made the cut. And since I havent been engaged that long, I dont know how attached she is to the idea of being in the wedding. I dont think she's ever been in one. And I know thats not a reason to keep her in mine. Not that I dont love her dearly. I do love her, and I know she'd be fun to have around. In fact, I'd planned to have her around - but as a hostess and not a 'maid.

I digress.

So as I sit here and type this, I'm trying to construct the most ginger way to address the issue. Will her feelings be hurt? Maybe. Will I get some backlash? Maybe. Am I doing this without running it by mom? Yes. Of course Jase is on board, but still. I've gotten the support I'm going to get on this one, knowing full well that me asking around is just another stalling technique. I know what I need to do. And I know when I look back on my wedding, I dont want to automatically associate her with being part of the bridal party out of obligation.

Maybe I'll just call her tomorrow :(

On a brighter note, I'm going to start the big checklist. Should be fun, right? And I've been divying out marching orders for the crew. Dani has a task, Jase has a few tasks (lol), and I'm going to give Krissi one relatively soon. I also have something that will be perfect for Dr. Hunt, and MJ is already asking me about going dress shopping. Things are really coming along :)

My stomach is growling, so I need to go find some vitals. Adi!

Today Was Kinda a Big Deal

Although it was my first work day at the IRS for the week, that’s totally not why today was a big deal. In fact, I did so little today at work that it was almost a non-issue. Thankfully, at this point in my tenure at the IRS, I do get paid for showing up to some degree. Wait. I make it sound like I didn’t do any work, and that’s not true. Now, if I had said “I worked hard today,” that would not have been true.

Hehehe

But onward towards the point.

Focusing on me, today was important because I did quite a few wedding things. Important (albeit very early on) wedding things. I talked to the people who I want to do our invites (which Idunno about you, but they’re pretty important to me), and I know I don’t want them to be overdone or fussy. And I hate those that have those mysterious pearlescent people on them in some ambiguous ensemble in a ridiculous mid-tango embrace. Sorry. I really odnt like them. And I know two people who have had that type of invite. Actually, believe it or not, I expressed my (now obvious) dislike for them before I found out Dr. Hunt’s sister had them as her invites. Ah well. I stood behind my sentiments. Those things are not the hotness.

So yeah, talked to the invite lady. And then spent about 30 minutes obsessing over the conversation we had. I thought I was prepped for the chat…but I was only kinda prepped. So much so that I will need to call back tomorrow or email them to clear up/modify our initial design. Thankfully they need the language I wanna use before they can print my sample and send it out. Arguably, I need to run the wording by jase. But its just a sample, I can have that printed, right? Hmm. I better tell him about it just in case. Which means the earliest they’ll get wording from me will be tomorrow night. Hell, the wedding is next year – I have time. LOL.

I also spent some time at work constructing what has become the master list for the wedding. (See, told ya I worked…never said it was all IRS related) And as Krissi alluded, its got tons of stuff on it. But essentially, I found myself getting caught up in invites, then place cards, but I want to be able to frame particulars in the grand scheme of the aspect of the wedding day they will pertain to. So, for example, those place cards are in the “cocktail hour” category, along with some way to display them (which I have my eye a Martha stewart thingie to handle that), as well as the gangsta relatives I’m going ot need to man the door in case people decide they wanna come all up in my reception but didn’t bother to RSVP, etc. Yes, I said gangsta…and I meant it. Because I feel like anyone who gets caught out there without having responded but believes they can come anyway may have a bit of ‘tude.

Today was also a big deal because if I understand CNN/Fox News correctly, Barack Obama is essentially the Democratic Presidential Nominee for the 2008 election. A black man! I cant say that I’ve been especially into politics because frankly, I wish the states would condense the primary schedule. I got lost in who had gone and who had yet to vote about 3 months ago. I forgot there were still primaries to be had!

Any-way! I cant say that I’m all energized and pumped because presidential elections (well, any elections really) get old for me really quickly. But its like I have this stirring in my soul that is teling me that this is really an important day for my people. Like I’m going to want to tell my kids one day what I was doing the day Barack Obama got the presidential nomination (or we fouind out he was going to get it – lol). So I wanted to go on record as having acknowledged its importance. Oh, and I have to go on record as having saying: I hope he wins.

I don’t claim to know much about politics (psychology? I’m good…politics? not so much), so I cant wholeheartedly say that I know hes going to be great. Politics are a tricky situation, and I don’t particularly enjoy playing the race card (or the gender card for that matter). However, what I will say is that I want to believe he would be a great president. I want to believe he is the bearer of the change that this country needs. I want to believe that he will do us, not just African Americans, but Americans proud.

So that’s exactly what I’m going to believe…and vote for.
Goodnight!
xoxox

Bridal party roundup!

So, in the event you hadnt heard...I'm official! Jason popped the question on the 21st and I said yesss!

(there wasnt any doubt I would, right?)

I'm officially a bride. Which means I officially have a gazillion extra things to be worried about/tend to. Thankfully I have some pretty awesome women in my crew:

Dani and Krissi - my maid and matron of honor, respectively. Although I have to say there is nothing matronly about my Krissi. Plus, she's my only experienced bride. Between the two of them, I have a wealth of information at my disposal - love those two.

My main maids: Cuzo (Melissa), Dionne, Naima, and Kesha. Of the four, my Cuzo probably has the best style. However, the others take direction very well...which I think is a very important quality for crew members to have.

My wedding planners/idea support: Dr. Hunt. She just oozes ideas and creativity and I just love her!

My dresser: MJ! Not like the piece of furniture, but the person who will be instrumental in getting me dressed. Plus, I'm convinced not only will she help me pick the gown, but she'll be the only one who knows how to bustle it - lol.

I also have to shout out Mommy (just for being who she is) and Godmommy (flowers and coordination).

And thats the crew. Dont they sound bridalicous?!

...yes, I just made that up

xoxox