Full of Shit

Alot of times, we are all full of shit.

And yes, I mean that both literally and figuratively.

But treading the more figurative path, this is a great opportunity to ask yourself "How full of shit am I?"

Have you met or exceeded your shit quota for the week...the month...the year? I have.

Now by shitty, I mean us carrying around our true feelings/intentions/desires for them only to be held down by our feelings/intentions/desires for others. And our related ones for how we want others to percieve us. This could stem from us wanting everyone to like us, or to keep controversy to a minimum, or my favorite "I dont want to hurt their feelings." And while we are managing to shield whomever from whatever emotional wrath we have for them, we are left holding in all the shit we should be releasing...our (emotional) shit. And where does all this holding leave us? Generally in a not-so-nice place.

Did you ever wonder why it feels so great to get things off your chest? LOL.

And it wasnt until today that I realized that it isnt just me, but others around me. Take for instance the cornerstone of my buddy list that I havent quite forgiven yet for an crime that essentially has served as the spark that has ignited an entire powder keg of drama/emotions that have gone unattended for some time now. I havent immed her and she hasnt really immed me. And from the outside looking in, yeah, it was pretty messed up, but it was so much more than that. Even just the events that transpired (or didnt) for the 3.5 weeks that I was in the greater palm beaches speak volumes about the status or rather the changes that have happened over the course of I dont even know how long.

I'd safely assume the last calendar year.

Not only is the situation shitty, but our apparent inability to address it makes us both shit perpetrators. And as I sit here and write this, I realize that acknowledging it is the first of many steps, but the only one Im willing to make right now. Which infact seems to be testing the theory "let sleeping babies lie" or something like that to the effect of if you dont address it, it will go away.

I dont really think that happens....I think it just gets heavier and stinkier, and harder to get rid of. Okay okay okay. So Im really enjoying my poop analogy.

However, things do get harder when you wait it out. More to explain, or piss them off by not explaining, and more to potentially feel some semblance of guilt about because in this instance, you both held on for so long. In my experience, sometimes things merely get brushed over for the greater good of the relationship. Some age old issues, things that were once the center of the gossip column, get brushed under the carpet...glossed over, and seemingly forgotten.

Sidenote: Some matters of the heart are also a little shitty, but thats for another time.

But I do have a point here (somewhere). Ask yourself: How full of shit are you? And when are you going to expell this shit? Do you need an emotional laxative (lol...I know, that was nasty)?

I (think) am taking steps to be less shitty. And you should too. True enough, saying that we are full of shit sends me into a fit of giggles, but I would LOVE to say (with a straight face) that I only mean it literally.