Why Do People Get Married

Not too long ago as I was walking down the lovely hill that separates the huge parking deck I park Ashleigh in and my home away from home the Psychology Building, it occured to me that I really didn't know why people got married.

However, this is based on the primary assumption that the two people are in love (with each other), and the secondary assumptions that they are in a loving equally yoked relationship, they know and appreciate each other, and they can afford (yes, I mean the dinero) to do so. However, those other reasons dont hold a candle to "two people are in love" and I mean really in love. Not that stuff you see on TV, or God forbid the celebrities, but that in your face, cant live without you, unconditional madness that sweeps you up and off your feet and makes you say to yourself "What did I ever do without you?."

I think I can safely say that this is the optimal situation to be proposed to, engaged to, and be married in.

But what about those people who get married for reasons other than those mentioned above. Like: "We didnt want to live in sin" yet, they were already sleeping together and co-habitating (last time I checked, God advised against those right?). Or another of my favorites: "We want to try and make it work for the baby." Yeah right. Does this sound like a good plan to you? It makes me giggle. And there are countless other reasons. But my point here is, what is it that says "Lets get married" or "Lets wait awhile."

This brings me to my current non-married status. No, Im not getting married anytime soon (I dont think), but I am not opposed to the idea. Granted, I am not in the financial situation I would love to be in prior to getting married, nor am I out of graduate school (and won't be for a good minute). And then there is mom, who (kinda) lovingly criticizes a certain cousin of mine for getting married (they used our "lovely living in sin" rationale), saying that "she didnt have to get married when she did." Which I'm sure is true. But she did, and now she will probably be getting divorced. Does it matter that a majority of the time she was hoping that her husband would change to be more like the man she would have loved to marry but didnt? Does it matter that she eventually started cheating on him? Oh, and does it matter that she got married and was married for a good month or so before she told her family?

I don't know.

And I dont have an answer really. Do I even have a question?

Ahh yes! Why do people get married?

I guess I am afraid of getting married for one of those wrong reasons. A la "this is the right man for me" or "this is who [insert some random other person here] would love for me to be with."

I am afraid of landing in one of those unfulfilling marriages that so many women I know have landed themselves in. Im afraid of questioning my choice years down the line. I dont want to be a statistic.

I want to get married for love.

xoxox