So, I've always toyed with the idea of being a life coach. I feel like even if I cant get my own ish together, I can help other people. Most of maneuvering through life is common sense mixed in with a little pop psychology. Well, since one of my other dreams is to write a pop psychology book, and come next year I'll have three degrees in psychology, I'm generally qualified to offer advice to people.
However, I must say that sometimes having a background in psychology gets in the way of normal life. Especially when two of those degrees are in social psychology (the best field of psychology ever created - lol). Like, when I first met Jase, before my friends started touting him as the best thing since sliced bread, and before him and mom got along like we've been dating for decades, I was genuinely concerned about how he was going to get on with them. Why? Because the literature suggests that oftentimes indivduals are blinded by love (excuse the cliche'), meaning that they are less likely to see the flaws from the objective standpoint that their close friends and family have when it comes to a new beau. Said another way: if Dani or Brew didnt like Jase, that means they saw something in him that I did not see.
Thankfully they love him. And they really do think he's right up there with sliced bread. Hmm, we could call him Henry Wheat....lol!
Sorry, I'm focusing now.
So, like I was saying psychology can get in the way. But it can also help. Like I've started life coaching my friend MJ. Am I much older than her? No. Am I much smarter than her? I got better grades, but because I never like to claim to be smarter than anyone, we'll roll with No. Am I managing my personal and professional life and goals better than her? Yes. Which I guess (note, I'm on record as saying guess) puts me in a position to give sound and useful advice. So much so to the point that I have gotten really good at determining when she's having a bad day, when she's following bad advice, and when she really needs to shake the haters off (yes, I said haters) and do whats good for her.
Hold on, MJ just called. No, I'm not joking. I gotta make her functional again real quick....
Okay, I'm back. Seriously, if she made enough money, I'd consider charging her. Are there pay scales for life coaches on the internet? Hmm, I should google it.
But anyway, I'm also stretching my life coach muscle on Yahoo! Answers. Let me just say its my new favorite website (after wikipedia of course). I enjoy the weddings category - again, don't ask, I dont want to get started on that - and is amazing to me how people turn to complete strangers for advice. From things like "how do I get my boyfriend to make an honest woman out of me" to "what colors should I use for my wedding." When you think about it, Y!A is the perfect kind of enviroment for me! I have opinions about all kinds of stuff. Especially when it comes to wedding color combinations and interpersonal relationships. However, its not just the opportunity to give my advice/opnions about seemingly important matters that makes Y!A great. Its the fact that people can rate the responses you give, and decide what are the "best answers" to questions. And [popping my own collar] I've gotten a few best answers, particularly re: colors and relationships. Yes, I'm thriving on Y!A. Not only is it satisfying my neverending quest for information, but it allows me to deposit my 2 cents on people who actually asked for it. Most importantly, it provides me preliminary evidence that I could advise and guide people for a living, or a least a side hustle. I'm already a life coach, but maybe one day I could get paid for it.
And I already know what my Life Coach Philosophy would be. My favorite psychological tidbit, the one that the field of social psychology is practically based on, is this: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Thats not to say that people cant change. Its just less likely. Think about all the problems you have with a current friend, sig.o, pet, etc. Now ask yourself: are these new problems? I think most people will find that what ever is problematic today has probably been problematic all along. Its all in how you managed the problem, but it was probably still a problem. Stay with me now. My second favorite tidbit of information is: you cant change someone's behavior, you can only control how you respond to it. Those two tidbits are THE solution to all kinds of ills. They are also the primary tenets of my LC practice. And you have to admit, they really have a way of putting life in perspective. Is it just me or are they kinda empowering? Its hard being mad at someone when they're only acting in the way they always do, AND when you're choosing to get all worked up about it. Wait for it...
Ahh, isn't insight refreshing? Okay, that will be $10 - I accept cash, Target and Publix giftcards, and personal checks if I know you like that.
Talking to MJ tonight has reinforced how far she has come. We've been friends now for 4 years, and I've been coaching her for I'd say at least the last year or so. I cant quite call her a success story, but she definitely gets points for progressing towards the woman she wants to be. In this industry (yes, I'm talking like I'm a professional LC), you take what progress you can get - lol. Shes not nearly as judgmental as she used to be, and she's finally reclaiming her life and deciding what shes willing to tolerate from her interpersonal relationships. Yay MJ!
And yay me...I really should hang a shingle. Perhaps even a heart shaped one!
xoxox
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