The more things change: Not loving, not bitter.

Late spring/early summer seems to be my time of the year....my time of year to get back into blogging - lol.

Why? Probably because I dont have time to do any extra writing until classes are almost over.

In fact, I should probably be writing something that will get me a couple steps towards graduation instead of writing here. But I realized after skimming Stace's blog that I miss blogging. I used to be a faithful blogger...and now I'm relegated to a few posts a year (yes, a year).

Anyway, enough about my extended absence. Not going to make any promises considering I'm starting and internship and a dissertation in the fall (I'm going to be legitimately Dr. PK), but maybe (hopefully) this will be a good distraction (along with cupcakes), from wedding planning. Dont ask.

If you've kept up, this is also the time I come to comment on a disfunctional at best relationship with one of my oldest friends. Yes, the same one who has a birthday coming up in about 3 days. I finally got that call. About a month after my last post. Again I didnt call on his birthday (as our custom to chat on our birthdays if no other time of the year), but he called on mine. I practically shit a brick! I swallowed my surprise - hell even Mom was shocked - and called him back. We even continued to chat for the rest of the time I was home. Things were almost back to normal. Yes, I said almost. Wait for it...

Fast forward to this year. I talked to him a couple of days ago - yes, of course I called him - just to see how he's doing. Turns out he's completely embraced single-dad-dom, and is doing really well with it. In the last year, we've confessed our undying feelings for each other (circa that May chat I previously referenced), half-ass planned a trip for him to come visit me, saw the trip never come to fruition and him stop calling, I stopped calling because I figured I couldnt be in a relationship with someone who wasnt interested in calling or coming to see me, got mad and then got over it, met Jase, fell in love, and am practically engaged.

Yes, thats a lot. And a year is a generous estimate...its really closer to about 10 months. But anyway, thats not important. What is important is that I finally let him go. And I really think that by my combined efforts of letting him, William, and Kevin go, that I was able to fully recieve the blessing that is Jase. Its almost as if I needed to get those other guys out of the way so that I could be fully available to meet and be with a good man when I met one.

Interesting, huh?

And I didnt realize that until I took a good look at all the clearing out and getting-out-of-my-system that I did last summer. The timing is eerily close, by August I was totally single (and pretty okay with it), and on August 18th, I met Jase.

I digress.

Today's point is that I've spent the last couple of years blogging (albeit intermittently) about "the way things change" from whats arguably a cynical and slightly attitud-y point of view. Which is a bit unfair. Now I realize the more things change, the more opportunities you have to step up to the plate and be a better person. Its just life's way of saying "Ha! I'm going to switch it up on you...whatcha gunna do now?!" Yes, change is uncomfortable, and as someone who enjoys being as on top of her life as she can manage, its been a difficult adjustment. However, I have to say that the more things change, the better you get at managing it. Not quite loving the change, but not nearly as bitter. And yes, that applies to all of my "changed" relationships, even the one with D.

You'll probably never read this, but happy early birthday D. 27...you're getting up there. Hope its a happy one.

xoxox