Graduate School: Not for the Weak at Heart

Anxiety

Its an emotion I could say that I am barely familiar with. I get anxious about minor stuff but its usually in the confines of my apartment, or my car, and generally because of someone else throwing a variable or a wench (po-tay-to/po-tah-to) in my carefully laid plans. Its usually really brief, just enough to get my heartrate up a notch, and like I said earlier, most people dont see it.

If I am going to be freaking out about something, and I'm telling you about it, you have probably missed the show.

However, graduate school trumps normality.

Yesterday, me and the other second AND third years had to do our thesis presentations. From the 7th to the Monday before I was totally fine. On Tuesday I had a to do a run thru for Mike and it was not good. I was underprepared (both unknowingly and knowingly) and I felt really bad.

Cue anxiety - stage left.

Well, anxiety is not a "Las vegas showgirl...shes a headliner," and when I tell you she stuck around until well into Friday afternoon (AFTER my presentation), I am not kidding. I am just now starting to not be so worked up about it. But I think my shoulders are tense, I am barely hungry, I am still very very tired, and I have work to do which lets me know that not only were my emotions all tied up in this but the anxiety I was holding prisoner was stressing me out as well.

William asked how I was, and I told him stressed all the way out. Sadly, I have told him this more than once this semester, and it isnt even Fall Break yet. Come on Fall Break!!!

Sarah says that graduate school is academic hazing. Kevin says that he doesnt mind being in school right now because when he goes home, he's done thinking about work. (I wish). And I say that I can see how graduate students become alcoholics.

Its over for now. So I'm going to enjoy this non-thesis after glow that I am inevitably sporting right now. Until its time to read for Monday or send out Psi Chi emails. More like a coffee break that runs a little long :)

xoxox